


Longing

by TNKT



Category: PewDiePie (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Nothing changes, One Shot, PewdieCry - Freeform, Pewdiepie / Cryaotic - Freeform, Sick Cry, Unrequited Love, Watching Someone Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 11:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8369740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TNKT/pseuds/TNKT
Summary: When one loves another, but the feeling is hidden.





	

Pewds feels something brush against his brow and he looks up, noticing that the something in question is a white string hanging from Cry's hoodie. The brunette is leaning over his shoulder, staring at the computer screen with furrowed eyebrows, and he can tell something is troubling his friend.  
"What's the matter?" he asks.  
Behind his smudged glasses, Cry blinks and looks at him, as if noticing the Swede's presence for the first time. "Uh, what?"  
The corners of the blonde's mouth twitch in amusement when he sees the confused expression on the other's face, before replying: "You look concerned about something."  
Cry looks back at the monitor thoughtfully, his eyes roaming about behind the reflection of the screen on his glasses. His mask is lying on the desk next to the keyboard. "It's just... Look at the comment section."  
"Okay," the man complies, grabbing the mouse to scroll down. "What about it?"  
"I don't know about you, but I've been thinking... the fans are getting aggressive. I mean, more than usual," points out Cry.  
Pewds's finger stills on the rubber wheel, and his gaze swivels up to his friend.

To be more specific, his gaze lands on Cry's lips.  
They're a very pale shade of pink and they look soft, despite being partly hidden by the American's three-day old beard. Pewds doesn't care much for facial hair, and he suspects Cry doesn't either. It's just that he probably doesn't feel like shaving.  
His gaze trails along the side of Cry's face and focuses on his eyes. Blue irises lined with long, dark eyelashes: eyes that seem a bit tired as always, and eyes that Pewds really likes seeing at his door when his friend comes over.  
He doesn't stare too long, and quickly averts his gaze. As much as he likes stealing glances of Cry's features, he really doesn't want to start blushing out of nowhere as he knows he will if he continues staring. Although, Cry seems too focused on the comments to notice anything. In fact, he's blatantly oblivious to Pewds right now.  
The blonde tries to focus on the problem at hand. "Well... what do you think we should do about it?" he inquires.

Cry brings a knuckle to his lips. "I dunno. It's just that I've noticed and I'm getting tired of it. Comments used to be cool to read, now it's just people with sticks up their asses who can't stand opinions. It's fucking stupid."  
"Yeah, I get that," concedes the blonde.

Pewds leans back in his chair and slides to the side so that the other can have a better look at the screen.  
_His skin is so pale._  
The thought crosses his mind unbidden. It's true that Cry's complexion is a bit too pale to be healthy, almost translucent. Pewds can see a faint touch of blue snaking around the other's jawline just before reaching his earlobe, and the white glow of the computer yields a paper-thin aspect to the brunette's skin. There's no doubt its unnaturally light tone is due to hours, if not nights of gaming and editing in his closed-off little world of comfort: his room.  
Pewds' gaze slides down to the other man's neck, a thin collarbone peeking out from Cry's slightly gaping hoodie. The dark-haired man is leaning low enough that Pewds can contemplate the smooth curve of Cry's neck without fearing to be caught. The blonde can feel the blood coursing through his veins, pulsing with desire, as he imagines pinning his friend down to the bed. He'd pull up the green hoodie, uncovering Cry's flat stomach, and he'd trail his fingers along his warm, smooth skin, down to the waistband. He'd press his hot mouth against the other's neck while the brunette would squirm underneath him, but Cry wouldn't be able to escape the hold on his thin wrists, and Pewds would silence his plaintive moans with a kiss. Cry would groan in his mouth as his hand reached under his briefs, and-

Suddenly, Cry straightens. The movement snaps Pewds out of his dirty thoughts and he jumps in surprise, but somehow he manages to play it off as cough. Besides, his friend isn't paying attention to him. He watches as the brunette pulls a chair towards him and lets himself fall into it, removing his glasses and setting them down next to the mask. Pewds notices the dark bags under Cry's eyes as he rubs the bridge of his nose.  
"You look tired," he states matter of factly.  
Cry's hand drops to his lap and he looks at the blonde. "Yeah."  
Pewds waits for him to continue, but Cry looks back at the computer and doesn't add anything. The blonde's eyes do a once-over of his frame, taking in the sagging shoulders and overall slim figure of his friend.  
_He should eat more._  
"Hey, Cry," he says.  
The brunette glances at the blonde. "Yeah?"  
Pewds leans closer and studies the other's face. He hadn't noticed earlier, but his blue eyes seem a bit more tired than usual.  
"Are you feeling okay?" he asks, a bit concerned by the weary expression on Cry's face.  
The brunette silently stares at him for a little while, then replies: "Well. I do feel kinda weird today."  
Pewds keeps observing Cry for a little longer. "Can I check something?"  
The other gives him a weird glance and sighs. "Go ahead."  
He reaches out, his hand landing on the other's forehead, and his friend lets him.

"Cry."  
"Yeah?"  
"You're hot."  
"Oh." The corners of the brunette's mouth edge into a cocky grin. "I know."  
Pewds draws back. "You know what I mean, you've got a fever. Seriously..." he sighs. "I keep telling you to look after yourself better."  
"Uh-huh," Cry answers, utterly disinterested by what his friend has to say as he pulls his chair closer to the desk.  
Pewds doesn't insist, turning back to the computer. "I'll try doing something about the comments, why don't you go lie down for a bit?"  
"M'kay," answers his friend.  
Pewds is pleased to hear that answer at first, but his satisfaction is quickly dampened when Cry crosses his arms on the desk and drops his head on top of them.  
"Cry... That's not what I meant," he says in a defeated voice.  
His friend doesn't answer, save the small shrug of his shoulders. Pewds stares at his exposed nape, at the soft strands of dark hair falling to each side of it, at the alluring bump at the base of his neck. He briefly feels the need to bend down and kiss it, but the unreasonable urge is quickly overidden by his sense of logic. The aftermath of such an act would be incredibly awkward.  
Pewds tears his eyes away from his napping friend and gets back to handling the comments.  
_

An hour later, Pewds stretches and yawns, glancing to Cry's side. Usually, Cry snores a little when he sleeps, but right now he's so quiet the Swede could've forgotten about his presence. This silence can't be a good sign.  
_I should tell him to sleep on the sofa, at least_.  
He reaches out to grab the other by the shoulder, gently shaking him awake. "Cry."  
The man groans, but doesn't move. Pewds' hand lets go of his shoulder to rest on his head, lightly tapping on his skull. "Come on, man. Wake up."  
Cry's hand clumsily swats Pewds' away from the dark hair, but he doesn't budge. Pewds internally sighs, his seat swiveling to face Cry's flank, and he reaches out again, this time shaking Cry's arm a bit more forcefully.  
The brunette finally turns his head to the side, grumbling. "Mmh... What?"  
Pewds notices the red coloring Cry's cheeks and his glassy stare. "You should go lie down, for real this time. You look sick."  
Cry shrugs again. "Don' wanna."  
"Well then too bad," says Pewds as he takes his headphones off and stands up. "I'm taking you there."  
He bends down, his arms circling Cry's chest from the side, and he pulls him up with minor difficulty. His friend is lighter than he'd thought he'd be, and he's not sure that's a good thing. Cry grunts unhappily and pushes Pewds away.  
"Okay, got it. I can go on my own."  
Pewds lets go of him and watches him walk away, a bit worried by his swaying steps. "Go sleep on the sofa, Cry."  
"I know, Felix. Not stupid." The room's door closes behind Cry, but Pewds stays where he is until he hears the living room's door open and close. Then he goes back to his seat, putting his headphones back on. 

He barely has the time to write one comment when an arm suddenly appears next to his face, and he jumps back with a yelp. "Jeezus!"  
He stares accusingly at the intruder as he pulls back his headphones again, a slightly sorry but mostly laughing Cry standing next to him.  
"Sorry 'bout that, Pewds. Didn't mean to scare you like that, I just forgot my mask," he chuckles.  
Pewds' eyes slides down to Cry's hand, indeed laying on the white mask. He sighs and pulls himself back to the desk, sliding in front of the computer. "You just scared me a little, stop making fun of me. Go get some sleep."  
He hears Cry shuffle behind him, but then the feet stop and Cry says sheepishly: "Thanks for looking out for me, dude."  
Pewds looks over the back of his chair and smiles at him. "Don't worry about it, Cry."  
Cry nods and turns away, stepping out of the room.  
_

Pewds turns off his computer and takes off his headphones before pushing his seat away from the table in a rotating motion. The chair rolls to a stop next to his bed, where he tosses the headphones to the side before getting up. He steps towards the door, cautiously opening it to avoid any squeaking, and walks out. The house purrs with the nightly activity of electric appliances and machines, but not nearly loud enough to cover the sound of his footsteps as he makes his way to the living room to check on his sleeping friend.

He tries to be as quiet as possible as his feet near the couch and crouches next to Cry. The man's breathing is loud but steady, and his eyes are soundly shut despite the small feverish tremors going through his body. No wheezing, no frantic dreaming, no sign of heavy sweating. He seems to be peaceful enough for an ill individual.  
Pewds clears a lost strand of hair from the man's forehead and contemplates the sleeping face of the friend he feels so attracted to, his hand staying behind Cry's ear. It's not just physical. He wouldn't say he loves the guy, but he does like him a lot. He likes the way he acts, the way he speaks, the way he is.  
It's just that he doesn't know of it's a good idea to tell him how much so.

Pewds closes his eyes. If only he had a way of knowing what would become of them if he did... He slowly shakes his head and opens his eyes again. His fingers start gently sifting through Cry's dark hair, and Pewds' thoughts wander. What would happen if he kissed Cry? He wants to, of course, and that's not the only thing he'd like to do with Cry. What would happen if he touched Cry, touched him in places he wasn't supposed to?  
Well it probably wouldn't go well, that's for sure, but... if it's just one kiss...  
Just one swift kiss.  
Pewds' hand stills, his fingers still caught in the brown hair.  
Just one. It won't wake him up, right? He won't know.  
Pewds' blue gaze rests upon Cry's lips. The blonde can hear his heart pounding so loud, he's afraid it might wake up his friend. He can feel the adrenalin pumping through his bloodstream, the thrumming in his ears making him dizzy.

This is crazy and completely stupid. But...

He leans closer to Cry and everything around them goes quiet. He doesn't fully realise what he's doing, the only thing he knows with certainty is that the frantic beat of his own heart is edging him on. Nothing else matters.  
_Please don't wake up_.  
His silent prayer goes out to whomever may hear it, and then he closes the gap separating his face from Cry's. His lips brush against his friend's and they're soft, softer than he'd ever thought, and warm. Almost hot from the fever.  
And the feeling isn't displeasing at all.  
Suddenly, Felix feels a rush of heat splashing over his insides, and he hastily pulls away.  
He stays completely still, blue eyes filled with disbelief.  
_What_...  
Cry's sleeping face doesn't move an inch, the gentle sound of his breathing doesn't hitch.  
_Did I just_... _?_  
The brunette doesn't show any sign of waking up. Pewds doesn't budge either.  
He stays kneeling there, right next to his friend, in the dark living room.

The silence in the room is deafening.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> I don't even know if the PewdieCry hype still exists, but I miss it and I've had this poor story decaying in my notebook for years. I decided to give it a go (after rewriting it of course, because two years ago me did NOT know how to write stories).  
> This is the only way I can think of this kiss in a "canon" way considering Pewds' and Cry's friendship, and the kiss happening without either being drunk (thinking of Joey and Noble right now). I just think that it could be plausible scenario in their lives.  
> Thanks for reading, leave a comment if you feel like it!


End file.
